Rainbow Fireside Code of Conduct

Updated October 18, 2026

Welcome

Rainbow Fireside is a private online community for LGBTQ young single adults with a connection to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (“the church”). It exists so you can be fully yourself here: LGBTQ, connected to the church, and part of a community that understands both.

By joining, you agree to follow this Code of Conduct in every Rainbow Fireside space, including our Discord server, social accounts, events, and private messages between members that come from meeting here. The short version: be kind, be honest, protect each other’s privacy, and leave people feeling safer than you found them.

Discord rules also apply

Members must also follow the Discord Community Guidelines at all times. Where those guidelines and this Code differ, follow whichever is stricter. Violating Discord’s guidelines may also lead to action under this Code.

Not affiliated with the church

Rainbow Fireside is an independent community. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, sponsored by, or operated by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or any of its leaders, units, or entities, and it does not speak for the church. Members must not say or do anything that suggests otherwise. That includes using church names, logos, or official branding in a way that implies affiliation, presenting Rainbow Fireside events or opinions as church-sponsored or church-approved, and claiming to speak on the church’s behalf.

Who can join

Rainbow Fireside has two routes to membership. Under the standard route, you are eligible if you meet all of the following:

• LGBTQIA+. You identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual, or otherwise part of the LGBTQ+ community, including if you are still questioning.
• Ages 18 to 35. You are at least 18, have not yet turned 36, and are an adult under the laws where you live.
• Not currently married. This includes legal marriage as well as civil unions and registered partnerships in any country. Never-married, divorced, and widowed members are all welcome.
• Connected to the church. You are a current, inactive, investigating, former, or resigned member, or you have significant ties to the church through upbringing, family, or community. Your connection is self-attested, and you do not need to be a member in good standing, or a member at all.

This space is not open to allies, family members, friends, or partners of members who do not meet every requirement above, unless a moderator approves an exception as described below. We value allies, but this is intentionally a space made by and for LGBTQ young single adults. Parents, siblings, and other relatives do not qualify under the standard route, even if they are supportive.

Moderator discretion

The second route is moderator discretion. Moderators may, at their sole discretion, approve someone who does not meet every requirement of the standard route. Exceptions are decided case by case. Applying does not guarantee approval, an approval does not set a precedent, and moderators are not required to give reasons for their decisions. Anyone admitted this way must follow every other part of this Code, and moderators may end that membership at any time.

Honesty and purpose

Answer the application honestly. Misrepresenting your eligibility is grounds for removal. Do not join to observe, research, report on, or recruit from the community. Recording, quoting, or writing about Rainbow Fireside or its members requires prior permission from the moderators.

If you stop being eligible

If you marry, turn 36, or otherwise no longer meet the requirements, let the moderators know. You may stay for up to six months afterward so you can say goodbye and transition out well. Moderators may shorten or extend that period in individual cases at their discretion. Leaving the church or changing your faith does not make you ineligible. Members admitted by moderator discretion remain members at the moderators’ discretion.

Respect for faith

Rainbow Fireside is a faith-affirming space. Many of us treasure our testimonies, our callings, our families, and our culture, and we want a place where that is welcome. Members are at many points in their faith journeys, and every one of them is respected here.

• Speak about faith, scripture, prayer, and spiritual experiences sincerely. Do not mock, belittle, or dismiss them.
• Never pressure anyone to stay in, leave, return to, or change their relationship with the church or with God. This includes “you should really” advice nobody asked for.
• Do not question whether someone is a “real” member, a “real” believer, or “really” LGBTQ because of their choices, activity level, or beliefs.
• Honest struggle, grief, questions, and hard experiences with the church are part of many members’ stories, and they are welcome when shared respectfully and in good faith. Venting about church policy or leadership is fine in moderation. Sustained attacks on the church, its members, or members’ faith are not, and moderators may redirect them.
• Do not proselytize for any religion, or against religion, and do not promote other organizations or movements without moderator approval.
• Do not present yourself as speaking for the church, its leaders, or Rainbow Fireside.

Respect for orientation and identity

Every member’s sexual orientation, romantic orientation, gender identity, and expression is valid here, including members who are asexual, aromantic, bisexual, transgender, nonbinary, or questioning.

• Use the name and pronouns a member asks you to use. An honest mistake is fine; correct it and move on.
• Do not argue that anyone’s orientation or identity is a choice, a phase, a sin, or something to be fixed.
• Do not promote conversion or “reparative” therapy, or content that presents changing orientation or identity as a goal.
• Do not rank experiences. Members who are celibate, partnered, out, closeted, or somewhere in between all belong, and nobody’s path is the standard.
• Never out anyone. Some in our community may still be closeted. Do not reveal or hint at another person’s orientation, gender identity, or membership here, to anyone, inside or outside the community unless you have clear permission from that person. Whether and when to come out is each person’s decision alone.

Dating and connecting

Rainbow Fireside is for friendship and community first, and it is also a place where single members may meet. Dating is welcome when it is consensual and respectful.

• Be respectful when messaging someone privately with romantic interest, and accept “no” or no response without pushing. One polite follow-up at most.
• Do not send repeated, unwanted, or pressuring messages.
• Keep flirtation out of group channels unless everyone involved is clearly comfortable with it.
• Be honest about who you are, what you want, and your availability. Do not use fake photos or identities.
• Members are responsible for their own safety when meeting anyone in person. Meet in public places first and tell a trusted friend where you are going.
• If a connection ends, let it end. Do not retaliate, gossip, or pressure others to take sides.
• No romance or money scams. Never ask members for money, gifts, gift cards, cryptocurrency, or financial help, and do not send investment pitches, paid-service offers, or suspicious links. Be cautious of anyone who moves quickly to intense romance, avoids video or voice contact, or has an urgent financial need, and report them to the moderators. Moderators may remove accounts without warning for suspected scams.

Privacy and safety

Many of us are not out to our families, wards, employers, or communities, and some of us have a great deal to lose. Protecting each other’s privacy is the most important rule here.

• No doxing. Do not share or seek anyone’s real name, photos, address, workplace, school, ward, phone number, social media, or other identifying details without their clear permission. This includes information about people who are not members.
• What is shared here stays here. Do not screenshot, copy, forward, or repeat anything members say, or the fact that someone is a member, outside Rainbow Fireside without their permission.
• No outing, threats, or blackmail. Do not threaten to expose anyone, or reveal their involvement to family, church leaders, employers, or anyone else.
• No impersonation. Do not pretend to be another member, a moderator, a church leader, or anyone else.
• Be careful with what you share about yourself. Share only what you are comfortable having known.
• Protect the door. Do not share invitations, links, or access to Rainbow Fireside spaces with anyone who has not been approved.
• Know your local laws. Members may join from anywhere in the world, and laws on speech, religion, sexuality, and online activity vary widely. You are responsible for knowing and following the laws where you live and for deciding what is safe for you to share. Rainbow Fireside does not give legal advice.

Cybersecurity and account safety

For many members, a security slip could mean being outed or targeted. These practices protect you and everyone else here.

Protect your accounts

• Use a strong, unique password for Discord and for your email. A password manager makes this easier.
• Turn on two-factor authentication (2FA) for Discord, your email, and your social accounts. An authenticator app is safer than text messages.
• Consider a pseudonym and a separate email address for Rainbow Fireside. Avoid work, school, or church email accounts, and avoid shared or monitored devices and networks.
• Be careful about reusing your Rainbow Fireside username elsewhere, since it can link your accounts together.
• Review your Discord privacy settings, including who can message you or send friend requests and which connected accounts are visible on your profile.
• Log out on shared devices, lock your devices, and turn off notification previews if others might see your screen.

Watch for phishing and scams

• Do not click unfamiliar links or open unexpected files, even from someone you know. Accounts get hacked, and attackers use them to message friends.
• Be wary of fake giveaways, “free Nitro,” fake verification pages, and login or QR codes sent to you by others.
• Moderators will never ask for your password, 2FA codes, or login tokens. Never share them with anyone.
• Do not authorize bots, apps, or browser extensions from anyone other than the moderators.
• Photos and files can reveal where you are. Before sharing them, remove location data and check backgrounds, reflections, and screens for identifying details. Be careful with screen sharing, and close anything private first.
• If your account may be compromised, change your password, sign out of all devices, and tell the moderators so they can warn others.

Not allowed

Do not distribute malware, phishing links, or tracking links. Do not try to access another person’s account, collect or scrape member information, or probe the community’s systems for weaknesses. If you find a security problem, report it privately to the moderators and do not exploit or publicize it.

Content standards

• No explicit content. No pornography, sexually explicit images, text, or links, and no graphic descriptions of sexual acts, in any space, including private messages that arise from meeting here. Mature topics such as relationships, identity, and sexuality may be discussed respectfully and without graphic detail.
• No trolling. Do not post to provoke, bait, derail, or inflame, and do not argue in bad faith. This includes “just asking questions” meant to unsettle people.
• No spam or self-promotion. No unsolicited ads, referral links, multi-level marketing, fundraising, or mass or repeated messages. Share outside links or projects only with moderator approval.
• No harassment or hate. No insults, slurs, stereotyping, intimidation, or targeted pile-ons, including toward people based on race, ethnicity, disability, body, class, gender, or any other trait.
• No graphic violence or illegal content, and nothing that promotes self-harm or harm to others.
• No rumors. Do not spread rumors or unverified accusations about other members. Bring concerns to the moderators instead.
• Use content warnings for heavy topics such as abuse, suicide, or religious trauma, and keep those discussions in the channels meant for them.

Wellbeing and crisis support

Members here may be carrying a lot, and we want to be a supportive place. Rainbow Fireside is a peer community, not a therapy or crisis service, and moderators are volunteers rather than trained counselors.

• Take any mention of self-harm or suicide seriously. Encourage the person to reach out to a professional or a trusted person, and let the moderators know.
• If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call your local emergency number. See the Crisis resources section below for hotlines.
• Offer support without diagnosing, pressuring, or giving medical or therapeutic advice. It is fine to say “I’m not sure how to help, but I’m here.”
• Take breaks when you need to. Nobody owes the community constant availability.

Crisis resources

Rainbow Fireside cannot provide emergency or professional help. If you are in crisis, or worried about someone who is, please use one of these. Consider your own safety and privacy when deciding whom to contact.

• Immediate danger, anywhere: call your local emergency number, such as 911 in the US and Canada, 999 in the UK, or 112 in the EU.
• US, suicide and crisis support: call or text 988.
• US, LGBTQ+ youth and young adults: The Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386, or text START to 678-678.
• US, text support: Crisis Text Line, text HOME to 741741.
• Outside the US: Find a Helpline lists free crisis services by country, and Befrienders Worldwide lists emotional support centers worldwide.
• In the community: if a member seems to be in danger, tell a moderator privately and encourage them to contact one of the services above.

Moderation and enforcement

Moderators keep Rainbow Fireside safe and welcoming. Moderators have final authority over interpreting this Code, deciding what counts as a violation, and deciding how to respond. This Code cannot cover every situation, so moderators may act on its spirit even when a specific behavior is not listed.

Reporting

If something feels wrong, report it to a moderator privately. Include screenshots or links where possible. Reports are kept confidential and shared only with the moderators who need them.

Possible responses

Responses depend on severity, intent, and history, and moderators may skip steps for serious violations such as doxing, outing, explicit content, threats, or lying about eligibility. Responses may include:

1. A private reminder or request to change the behavior
2. A formal warning
3. Removal of content, or a temporary mute or suspension
4. Permanent removal from Rainbow Fireside

Fairness

• Moderators will try to listen to the people involved before deciding, when it is safe to do so.
• Moderators should step aside from any case involving themselves or someone close to them.
• A removed member may write to the moderators once to ask for a review. Decisions are final, and moderators are not required to reverse them.
• Moderators are expected to keep members’ information private and to follow this Code themselves.

Changes to this Code

We may update this Code as the community grows. Moderators will announce significant changes to members, and continuing to take part means you accept the updated version. Questions or suggestions about this Code are welcome, and you can send them to the moderators at any time.